You had a great first date, said goodbye, and now you’re staring at your phone wondering what to text after first date. Should you wait? Text immediately? Play it cool? The overthinking begins.
Here’s the truth: there’s no magic formula, but there are definitely right and wrong ways to follow up text after first date. The goal is simple—show you’re interested without seeming desperate, maintain momentum without overwhelming them, and open the door for date number two.
This guide covers everything from when to text after first date to the best message to send after first date, complete with examples that actually work.
When to Text After First Date
Let’s tackle the timing question first because it matters more than you think.
The Same Night (If It Went Really Well)
Send a text if:
- You had an amazing time and want them to know
- The date lasted several hours
- You both expressed interest in seeing each other again
- You genuinely can’t stop thinking about it
Example text: “Just got home. I had such a great time tonight—thanks for an awesome evening!”
Why it works: It’s genuine, positive, and doesn’t require a big response. It shows confidence and interest without pressure.
The Next Morning (The Safe Bet)
This is usually the best timing. It shows interest without seeming overeager.
Example text: “Morning! Still thinking about that story you told about your trip to Japan. Hope you have a great day!”
Why it works: References something specific from the conversation, shows you were listening, casual but warm.
Within 24 Hours (The Deadline)
If you haven’t texted by now, you’re starting to seem uninterested. Even if you’re playing it cool, 24 hours is the maximum wait time.
Example text: “Hey! Been thinking about our conversation yesterday. Would love to continue it over coffee this weekend if you’re free?”
Why it works: Direct but friendly, suggests concrete plans, shows clear interest.
The Follow Up Text After First Date Formula
A great follow-up text has three elements:
- Acknowledgment: Reference something from your date
- Compliment: Express genuine appreciation
- Forward momentum: Either keep the conversation going or suggest meeting again
Good Examples:
“I had such a great time last night! Your story about accidentally ordering snails in Paris had me laughing all the way home. We should definitely do this again soon.”
“Thanks for introducing me to that coffee place—it’s now my new favorite spot. I really enjoyed talking with you. Are you free next week?”
“Just wanted to say I had a lot of fun yesterday. You’re pretty easy to talk to, How’s your week looking?”
Best Message to Send After First Date (By Situation)
If The Date Went Amazing
What to text: Be enthusiastic but not overwhelming
Example: “I’m still smiling about tonight. You’re exactly as interesting in person as your profile suggested—maybe even more. I’d really like to see you again. What does your schedule look like this week?”
Why it works: Shows genuine excitement, compliments them, makes your interest crystal clear, proposes next steps.
If The Date Went Well But Not Amazing
What to text: Keep it warm but leave room to feel things out
Example: “Thanks for meeting up yesterday! It was nice getting to know you. Hope your presentation goes well this week.”
Why it works: Polite and positive without overselling it. Leaves the door open but doesn’t push for immediate plans.
If You’re Not Sure How They Felt
What to text: Express your interest and gauge their response
Example: “Hey! I had a really good time last night. Would you be up for grabbing dinner sometime this week?”
Why it works: Direct question requires a clear response. You’ll know quickly if they’re interested or just being polite.
If The Date Was Awkward But You Want to Try Again
What to text: Acknowledge any weirdness with humor
Example: “So…I think we both agree that restaurant was interesting (in the worst way). But I’d love a redo somewhere with better food and less awkwardness. What do you think?”
Why it works: Self-aware humor, shows you’re not fazed, offers a second chance.
How to Text Someone After Date: Dos and Don’ts
DO:
Be genuine: If you had fun, say so. Don’t play games.
Reference specific moments: “That thing you said about…” shows you were listening and engaged.
Use their name: Makes it personal. “Hey Sarah” feels better than “Hey.”
Keep it relatively short: 2-3 sentences is perfect. Save the long conversations for in person.
Use light emojis: A smiley face or two is fine. Don’t go overboard.
Ask about their day/week: Shows you care about them beyond just dating.
Suggest concrete plans: “Are you free Saturday?” is better than “We should hang out sometime.”
DON’T:
Send a novel: Long paragraphs feel intense and require too much mental energy to respond to.
Play texting games: “Wait three days” is outdated advice. If you like them, let them know.
Send multiple texts without a response: One follow-up is okay. Two is pushy. Three is desperate.
Drunk text: Nothing good comes from late-night texts after drinks.
Overthink every word: Authenticity matters more than perfect phrasing.
Ask “Did you have fun?”: This puts them on the spot. Instead, state that YOU had fun.
Be sexual: Keep it appropriate for a first date follow-up.
Cute Texts to Send After Date
Sometimes you want to be a little more playful or flirty. Here are options that walk the line perfectly:
“Full disclosure: I’m still laughing about your terrible dad joke. I might have to steal it.”
“My friends asked how the date went. I told them you’re pretty cool…but I might have undersold it”
“Update: I tried making that recipe you mentioned. It was a disaster. Clearly I need a teacher. Available?”
“Weird question, but do you remember what song was playing when we left? It’s stuck in my head and I can’t think of anything else from last night. Wait, that came out wrong—I mean, I can’t think of the song name”
“Scale of 1-10, how awkward was I? Be honest. I can take it.”
“Just realized I forgot to tell you my controversial take on pineapple on pizza. This is important information for date number two.”
When to Reply to Dating App Messages After Meeting
If you met on an app and exchanged numbers, should you text or message on the app?
Always text if you have their number. It shows:
- You’re serious about getting to know them
- You remember they gave you their number
- You’re moving the connection forward
Only stay on the app if you haven’t exchanged numbers yet (which is unusual after a first date).
What If They Don’t Respond to Your Follow-Up?
First, don’t panic. Give them at least 24 hours to respond. People get busy.
The Follow-Up Text (48 Hours Later)
If you haven’t heard back after two days, you can send ONE more text:
“Hey! I know you’re probably busy, but I’d love to take you out again if you’re interested. No worries if not—I just wanted to put it out there.”
Why it works: It’s direct, gives them an easy out if they’re not interested, and doesn’t make assumptions.
If They Still Don’t Respond
Accept that they’re not interested and move on. Some people ghost rather than being direct—it’s cowardly but common. Don’t send more texts. It won’t help.
The right person will be excited to hear from you and will respond.
How Long Should You Text Before Asking for Date Two?
Here’s where people often mess up: they text too much between dates and run out of things to talk about.
Ideal texting pattern:
- Day 1: Follow-up text after date
- Day 2-3: Light conversation if it flows naturally
- Day 3-4: Suggest specific plans for date two
- Between dates: Keep texting minimal—you want to have things to talk about in person
Don’t fall into the trap of constant texting. It creates false intimacy and kills the excitement of seeing each other.
Red Flags in Post-Date Texting
Watch out for these warning signs:
From them:
- One-word responses only
- Takes days to respond consistently
- Never asks questions back
- Says they want to meet again but won’t commit to specific plans
- Only texts late at night
- Immediately gets sexual
From yourself:
- Sending multiple texts without responses
- Analyzing every word they send
- Getting upset if they don’t respond within hours
- Changing your personality via text
Examples of Texts That Work Every Time
The Confident Classic: “I had a really great time with you last night. Would you want to grab dinner this Friday?”
The Callback: “Still can’t believe you’ve never seen The Office. We need to fix this immediately. My place or yours? (For watching purposes only, I promise)”
The Shared Interest: “Remember you said you wanted to try that new taco place? Wanna go this weekend?”
The Genuine: “Just wanted to say thanks for such a fun evening. You made the whole ‘getting back into dating’ thing way less scary.”
The Light Tease: “I’ve been telling everyone about your fascinating theory on time travel. They all think you’re crazy, but I’m intrigued. Lunch this week to discuss further?”
Your Action Plan
Here’s exactly what to do:
Within 12 hours of your date: Send a warm, genuine text that references something specific from your conversation.
If they respond positively: Keep the conversation light for a day or two, then suggest concrete plans for date two.
If they don’t respond within 48 hours: Send one follow-up text, then move on if they still don’t respond.
Between now and date two: Keep texting minimal and casual. Save the good conversation for in person.
Final Thoughts
Figuring out what to text after first date doesn’t need to be complicated. The key is being genuine about your interest, maintaining reasonable timing, and making it easy for them to respond.
The best message to send after first date is one that sounds like you—not something you copy-pasted from the internet (though using these as templates is totally fine). Show interest, reference your actual conversation, and suggest meeting again if you want to.
Remember: the right person will be happy to hear from you. If they’re not responding or seem lukewarm, they’re not your person. Don’t waste energy chasing someone who isn’t excited about you.
Now send that text and stop overthinking it. You’ve got this!